He Respected Her Wishes

After the wedding, there was this blanket of fog that we were all left in. A proverbial wedding hangover, which has lasted over a week. I've talked to everyone in my family, Colleen and Gianni included, and we all have agreed that it went off without a hitch. I spoke with my dad on the way to the airport on Sunday night, and again on Wednesday afternoon. He agreed that the day was perfect, magical, enough to make a lifetime memory. The only thing that saddened him was a misunderstanding when it came to an omission in the speech he made.

Dad and I each had a big toast to perform at the wedding, and in our preparation for our toasts, we spoke them outloud in the comfort of the guest room at his house. We encircled ourselves with eachothers' words, and we both cried a bit in the process. Dad spoke highly of Colleen, of our family, of mom, and of his wife Patricia. He meticulously planned his speech, as I had, to include everything that he felt about the people who have contributed to Colleen's growth, and to the wedding (without making it an hour long). His speech was flawless, and I had to take a moment to gather myself before telling him so. One thing in particular that he was grappling with was a bit about his wife, Patricia. He had written about her at length, about her patience throughout the entire year of planning, about her talent when it came to creating the beautiful wedding invitations, about her support for him as the Father of the Bride. He eloquently portrayed the women in his life with a sophistication that I rarely hear from anybody in my life.

At the eleventh hour, Pat noticed the reduced, edited version he had written about her, and asked him to promise to remove that portion. She made him swear that she wouldn't be a part of it. Dad figured that the reason may have simply been that Pat did not want to seem as if she was competing for mom's time, or being compared to her in any way. Out of respect and compassion, he reluctantly removed all but her name.

The speech went off beautifully. He kept it together and there wasn't a dry eye in the room. Some might have noticed that his wife was not mentioned, but none of them knew the circumstances under which that was decided. I will remember those moments as he spoke so wonderfully in front of so many people, for the rest of my life, and I hope others will do him the honor of remembering the same.