Sunday, December 27, 2009

You Know What's Crazy?

My grey kneesocks are in Dolsky’s basement.

Alcohol can completely change the vibe of a party. Completely.

That everything around us, out of our control (or in it) takes over our lives, predicts it, changes it, navigates it:

            The Internet

            Money

            Alcohol

            Technology

            Gender

Speaking of gender: that’s what else is crazy. Women will always correct, motivate, push their lovers to be as best as they can.  They will glance across the center console, shooting lasers from their eyes to their men…always signaling: get on with the story/stop talking/you drive horribly/I need Subway. 

And men will always be there, dog-eyed and willing: to bend, to break, to fix the lamp and to build the wall, to hold your hair back and to calm you the cuss down, to hear it without having to listen, to turn off the light when you’re already under the covers, to warm up your cold hands, to eat what you make for him, to love love love love love, to agree with your opinions or counter them neatly and intelligently, to stop when you tell him to, leave the party with you when you’re tired, disagree with someone in your defense, eat your crusts, call you beautiful, tell you you’re right when even you know you’re wrong, internalize the feelings you’re thowingtossingchucking at him INCESSANTLY, breathe.  It’s so much more than opening car doors and paying the check.  

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Ailing Shins and Enlarged Spleens

















Paul only came to New York with a few expectations: to eat a sandwich in Brooklyn, to not see a Broadway show, and to spot a rat in the bowels of the subway. Check, check, and check.

We walked over bridges, under overpasses, and through steaming piles of Red Hook dog feces to find the best sandwich in Kings County. Pressured by the squawking Italian deli owner, he ordered a large, which was the size of a small child and was supposedly topped with razorblades.

Instead of seeing a Broadway show, we put on a 3-night show of our own, starring ourselves, with various props such as stuffed birds, chandeliers, a love seat, and the Garden State Soundtrack. The plot thickened as we educatedly debated the only thing we disagree upon (O) and I realized that he is the only person I can stand to prove me wrong...and then I lit my hair on fire. The second act of most of our shows included very little dialogue and the four of us "dancing" (if you consider jerky arm movements dancing). During intermission, we bashed crafts, made sure our socks were in our pockets, sang in the shower, complained of ailing shins and enlarged spleens, and made up new ways to cheer when the Packers scored a touchdown. Laughter was really what rubber-banded it all together, and it erupted not only from the audience but from on stage: silently, rolling on the ground, re-arranging my hernia.

And finally, as we dragged our feet to the A train to JFK, a fat rat appeared in the tracks as we hugged goodbye.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Good Winter to You

Bon Iver slips into my Pandora playlist from time to time, and no matter what mundane chart I am re-arranging, no matter what street corner I am on, what cafe I am in, no matter who it reminds me of or why... I cry.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Scholastic Holiday Party

I hit send on my last email of the shortened Friday, closed up the contract database, saved and closed the grid I was poking at, straightened my piles of this way and that papers, put my shoe back on, and headed for the stairs.  It was Friday, and it was party time.  The muffled bump and hum of rap music had slid up to the 9th floor from the 6th like the smoke monster on Lost, and the smell of chocolate and cheese wafted down from the 11th.  For some odd reason my apprehension far exceeded my excitement as I walked up to check out the scene with Maren.  I'd  imagined that it was going to be a scene straight out of The Office, or possibly the British Office, seeing as the alcohol intake of children's book publishers is much higher a percentage than one would innocently imagine.  Maybe we need more substance in order to come up with whacked-out ideas that children would love, like "Is Your Mama a Llama," or "I'm Your Bus." I expected awkward mingling, too-sweet wine, some table cloths, and  a chat or two with some people I only see hunched over their keyboards.  I was mistaken, in the grandest of ways.  
The 11th floor had a dance floor, packed with younger revellers, head bobbing and fist pumping to "Empire State of Mind," overlooking the lower Manhattan skyline.  I spoke with an art director who's breath was rank but I had never known she was in love with Belgium, had amazing taste in music, and was clinically claustrophobic.  
The 6th floor, which is usually the floor where all meetings take place, had catered delicacies like shrimp, leg of lamb, and cheese, cheese, cheese.  Somehow, we had found heaven, squished within the walls of Scholastic.  Maren and I tracked down our only crush - in publishing women don't have many options - whom we had nicknamed and swooned over just because.  He played it cool, though, poking at his iPhone and pretending to ignore our pleas to go up to the dance floor.  
The 2nd floor had coffee and cakes and randomly a huge screen with a video of snow falling in a quiet forest, on repeat.  I wasn't sure what to make of this video - was it supposed to make us feel that warm Christmas-y feeling?  I felt more like I was in a scene from Into the Wild.  People kept standing in front of the projector, the shadows of the falling snow drifting down their faces, until someone awkwardly pushed them to the side.  
We figured the 11th floor was where the In-Crowd was, so we headed up, wine glasses in hand, through our asylum of employment, the eeriness of drinking amid the deserted cubicles setting in.  When we arrived back on 11, the majority of the crowd stuck with "The white man's overbite" as their move of choice, but as the night wore on, the dancing became somewhat graphic.  
That was when Maren and my brown and blue eyes locked, glazed over, and we peaced out, to skip down Broadway and join the masses of the wintry Manhattan evening.