She wore lace on her dress and in her hair, his smile was wide and their vows were proud. To stand next to a friend as she marries the one she loves is the highest honor, and to speak to them on a breezy June afternoon in the presence of loved ones is even higher. With a friend like Carrie, there are secrets hidden deep within our red right ankles and down under the quiet pillows of our friendship, and there are elaborate stories that only our imaginations can understand, so all I could say was this:
One way of knowing love is to furtively act with courage. To swim in all of it whenever something somewhere whispers it. And in those moments, vivid, beautiful hallucinations of strength and hope live for a moment in you. Heart and hands, sweat and dust. The songs, the processions, the banners. We shall explode in enormous love. We think of happy yesterday, we survive on it. Party if joyless, make love in the dim lamplight. Kissing life - thinking bigger, healthier, stronger, happier. Today is unchangeable and your heart is working, so roar and bleed and hope and drink gin like in the old days. Oh zigzagging, oh revolution, oh tiny sea. It feels like a kind of dance, it is oranges and lemons and not fright or pain – but peace – freedom – strength. The heart bangs – I.LOVE.YOU. It remembers everything, it smiles. Love is love – powerful and troubling. Love is virtuosity and singing, breathing fast, kneeling face-to-face, pleasant helplessness and communication. Zealous love, kaleidoscope love. Love love love love love love love – magenta, sun blazed ripe heart – pleasant tomorrow tenderness. Love – sweet summer air, happy melancholy – lips, cheeks, nose, eyes, cavernous mouth, naked calves and ankles, hands – a man and a woman and a spontaneous tomorrow. Alive with love. The most necessary and overwhelming task is to settle into bliss, to understand bodies and to progress as a united being. The world is explosive and arbitrary. It’s marvelous. Today is paradise – constant and conquerable. Party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party party. Relaxation and enthusiasm. Continuous possession of absolute truth. Concessions to and fro of fear and hatred. The love, the craving, the porcelain cheekbones, the poetry, the pain. The furious stream of blood and saliva, the humming and the laughing – elbows and eyelids – ears and weeping and confessions and sleep and silent breath. All of us sweat and pulse. Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes, we exist, we grasp happiness, we realize the universes inside of love. You are beginning, I can see, to realize what that world will be like. Life will zip forward and snap you suddenly into character and after that it is all improvisation. The one certain thing is that love is without thought – it is a deep ocean, violent and calm. An extraordinary medley of you and you, of life, death, and of triumphant victory.
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